Hey, gang, it's Maxwell Bluum! Wow, you InkIsIt fans are the best. Nathan passed along some of the things you sent to help cheer me up and boy did they work. I can't get this smile off my face and -- believe me -- I tried. And, just so you know, Miranda and I are talking through the misunderstanding and we hope to have a resolution soon.

Thanks again,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: cheer up, inkisit, love, max, miranda

posted @ 5/10/2007 10:46:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, gang, Nathan Bannigann here and big-sized kudos to all you InkIsIt fans who submitted material to Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum. I finally sifted through all the submissions -- rap songs, firework displays, full-length motion pictures featuring talking printers -- and passed along a few to Max and boy did it bring a smile to his face. And, as promised, I thought I'd share one of your submissions. This limerick comes from Rico:

There once was a young man named Max,
whose lady just up and made tracks.
His search made him sprint
without stopping to print,
while Nathan told him to relax.

Great stuff, Rico. Max couldn't be happier!

Many thanks,

Nathan Bannigann

Labels: cheer up, limerick, max, miranda, nathan

posted @ 5/09/2007 10:21:00 AM 1 comments

Hey, everyone! InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum with some (kind of) good news. My dearest Miranda has finally come home from her charity mission, though a few days late. I was worried sick about her. Combine that with my latest printer frustrations and the last few days have been hell-ish. Naturally, when I finally saw Miranda, I had a couple of questions regarding why it took her so long to come home and she never called to tell me she'd be late. She explained that she missed her flight by accident and didn't have money to get a new one or make a phone call. She had to get some money quick, so she entered a marathon that had a $10,000 prize for first place. Apparently she won and, just before she was about to purchase a plane ticket, noticed she could get a hot air balloon ride for half the price. She opted for the balloon ride (totally understandable) and just got home.

Well, here's my issue: Miranda is flat-footed. How she won a marathon is beyond me. I've seen her run -- she looks like on an ostrich with hot coals strapped to her feet. Did Miranda lie? If so, what was she doing for the last few days?

One confused bugger,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: love, max, miranda, printer trouble

posted @ 5/08/2007 10:21:00 AM 0 comments

Hello, hello, hello InkIsIt fans! Nathan Bannigann here and all I can say today is: "Wow". My inbox has been absolutely inundated with submissions from people hoping to Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum. We've gotten rock ballads, murals, full-length DVDs with director commentary -- it's out of control! Max is going to be so cheered up. But keep those submissions coming. In fact, by popular demand, we're going to allow you a total of fifteen (15) submissions. That's right -- for those of you who have already submitted five (5), you now have ten (10) more opportunities to Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum. How come no one has submitted a Maxwell Bluum sculpture, diorama, or papier-mache? Get on it, folks, and send a picture of it to nathan@inkisit.com. Max is going to be so happy!

Until Monday,

Nathan Bannigann

Labels: cheer up, inkisit, love, max, miranda, nathan

posted @ 5/04/2007 10:48:00 AM 0 comments

Max Bluum from critically recognized talk-show InkIsIt on this end, and I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. Has anyone seen a tall slender, blue-eyed woman that fits the following description and goes by the name of Miranda:

Tall, slender, female, big bountiful blue eyes, hair like an angel, skin the complexion of a leading lady, toes you couldn't imagine in your wildest dreams, arms so perfect you'll think god spent half the morning building them, a nose the size of a baby carrot (but the shape of a nose), a smile that makes your heart swell with befuddled delight, and lastly a torso you can set your watch to. She has all the other body parts, but they're pretty basic.

I would've printed a picture of her and posted it around the neighborhood and country, but until the cost of printing drops I'm left with just the above description. Please, have it in your heart to drop what you're doing and start looking around. Thank you.

Carefully,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: expensive, max, miranda

posted @ 5/03/2007 10:04:00 AM 1 comments

Attention all InkIsIt enthusiasts! As many of you know, my friend Max has been down in the dump trucks since his lover Miranda didn't come back from her trip. Now, don't tell Max, but I thought it might be fun if we cheered him up. It's a little project I like to call: "Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum".

Here's what I want you InkIsIt fans to do: Send anything you want to me (nathan@inkisit.com) that you think will help cheer up Max. That's right -- it can be a picture, photo, poem, video, song, essay, whatever you want as long as it cheers up Max. And the best part is that we'll post some of the submissions that cheered up Max the most at InkIsIt.com. Sound good? Great! The deadline is this Sunday at 11:59pm and there's a limit of five (5) entries per person. So, to recap:

(1) Make a picture, photo, poem, video, song, essay, or whatever that you think will Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum.
(2) Send it to nathan@inkisit.com by 11:59pm, Sunday, May 6th, 2007. Limit five (5) entries per person.
(3) We'll post some of the submissions that cheered up Max the most at InkIsIt.com.
(4) Max is cheered up!

Alright, folks, send us your Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum submissions starting... now!

Hooray!,

Nathan

Labels: cheer up, inkisit, love, max, miranda, nathan

posted @ 5/02/2007 11:02:00 AM 1 comments

Well, folks, I'm sorry if I don't seem like the typically chipper Maxwell Bluum today, but i'm in a bit of a gloom-funk right now. Just got back from the airport to pick up Miranda, and my worst fears came true: She never got off the plane. And neither did that guy that looked just like me, only way hunkier. You're probably wondering why I'm so calm about all this. I guess you could say I already released all of my aggression in the form of household chores. I scrubbed the floor, painted the ceilings, and installed a few, what I like to call, "air-vents" in my doors and walls. I also did a bit of printing. I don't even want to think of how much that's gonna cost me. But, it's hard to worry about money when your lover, best friend, soul mate and team mate is god-knows-where with you-know-who doing you-know-what till the cows-come-home. Anyways, if you can think of a way to cheer me up that won't cost any money cause I don't have any thanks to the high cost of printing, please let me know and quickly. If you wanna stop by, I just checked into Heartbreak Hotel. Sometimes metaphors just seem to say it best.

Color Me Very Sad,

Max of InkIsIt

Labels: expensive, max, miranda

posted @ 5/01/2007 10:14:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, folks, it's InkIsIt internet sensation Maxwell Bluum with some great news. Ever since my lover Miranda left for her charity work, I no longer have an appetite! Nor do I need to sleep! Nor do I have money for rent! And I feel grrrrrrreat! Haha! Whoopee! I haven't been this happy since that time my printer stopped working.

Sobbingly,

Max

P.S. Miranda, if you're reading this, please come home!

Labels: africa, love, max, miranda, printer trouble, printers, printing

posted @ 4/27/2007 10:15:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, folks, InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and it's been a whirlwind of a week. Last time I left you, my attractive lover Miranda was thinking of going to Africa for a week to distribute free ink cartridges and I wasn't sure whether I should let her go. After receiving hundreds of emails from people with advice -- some good, some bad, some good but about a different topic -- I decided to let her go. If our love is true, then it will surely withstand the test of time -- in this case, seven days. Unfortunately, just when I bid Miranda farewell, I saw her board the plane with a co-worker who looked just like me, only with bigger muscles and no moustache. It got me thinking: I'm screwed. I immediately returned to my condo and began eating chocolate and printing out of control. Before long, I had used all my rent money to buy more ink cartridges so I could print more. Now I have no idea how I'm going to make rent next week. Oh, dear me.

In a Real Pickle,

Max

Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda

posted @ 4/25/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments

InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum in a bit of a contemplative mood. This morning, my lover Miranda informed me of some disturbing news. Apparently she has volunteered for a program that distributes free ink cartridges to those who are unable to afford them. That's all well and good, but the program takes place in Africa and lasts an entire week. The worst part is: she's flying out tomorrow. You can imagine this has put me in a bit of a dilemma. On one hand, I'm glad she's doing some good work for those in need; on the other, I'm just not sure I can be without her for a week. Do I, Earth's Maxwell Bluum, put my personal needs aside and let her go? Or do I tell her I need her to stay or I'll most surely spend the entire week in a deep, deep sadness? Any advice?

Confusedly,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda

posted @ 4/23/2007 10:36:00 AM 1 comments

That's right, folks: despite how I appear on InkIsIt, Maxwell Bluum isn't perfect. Last time I left you, I had written a poem for my lover Miranda. Oh, Miranda... the pudding in my pie, the magic in my magician, the milk in my dairy cow. Well, when Miranda read it, boy was she flattered. I could tell because the look on her face just seemed to say, "I am experiencing the emotion of flattery." That's all well and good, but I actually printed the poem for her 3,000 times and, if you do the mathematics, that works itself out to about to $150 buckaroos. This did not make Miranda happy. She cares about my financial well-being, knows how I get around printers, and encourages me to print responsibly so I have money to buy her unreasonably lavish gifts. In the end, it's because she cares.

Until next time,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: expensive, max, miranda, poem

posted @ 4/19/2007 10:24:00 AM 0 comments

InkIsIt's Max here and the lead headline in my newspaper is "Miranda Beckinsworth Sweeps Maxwell Bluum Off His Feet". To show my love for my new hugging-partner extraordinaire, I wrote her this rhyming poem:

When I first met you,
I knew I had fallen for you.
Your body is a wonderland,
And I really like wonderlands.
I'm 110% positive you're the one for me.
And I'm pretty sure you like me.

Do you agree that it's a well-written poem? Anyways, I just printed it for her over and over again. I'll let you know what she thinks!

Happy-happy printing,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: expensive, max, miranda, poem

posted @ 4/17/2007 10:45:00 AM 0 comments

Maxwell Bluum of InkIsIt here. I know I said I was in love last time I checked in, but I was wrong. Now I'm IN LOVE!!!!! I couldn't have been in love before, because now I feel something completely different, something indescribable. Well, let me try to describe: you know what it feels like when you eat an ice cream sundae in a room full of pillows and kittens? Well, times that by a gazillion and divide by two. That's what I felt like when I first met Miranda. Now multiply by two. That's what I feel like NOW!

You'll never believe how perfect Miranda and I are for each other. She likes printing even more than I originally thought she did. And she hates how expensive printing is just like I do. Today she printed me out a special picture: a puppy wearing a raincoat! I love puppies! I didn't even tell her that. I did tell her I loved raincoats, though. But, still, 1 for 2 ain't bad. I wonder if she finds it difficult to keep herself from printing everything she wants to just like I do. I bet, yes! Well, I better go. I've been away from Miranda for a few minutes now and the pain is crippling. So long, gang.

Love is in the airducts,

Max

Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda

posted @ 4/13/2007 10:07:00 AM 2 comments