Hey, gang, it's Maxwell Bluum! Wow, you InkIsIt fans are the best. Nathan passed along some of the things you sent to help cheer me up and boy did they work. I can't get this smile off my face and -- believe me -- I tried. And, just so you know, Miranda and I are talking through the misunderstanding and we hope to have a resolution soon.

Thanks again,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: cheer up, inkisit, love, max, miranda

posted @ 5/10/2007 10:46:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, everyone! InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum with some (kind of) good news. My dearest Miranda has finally come home from her charity mission, though a few days late. I was worried sick about her. Combine that with my latest printer frustrations and the last few days have been hell-ish. Naturally, when I finally saw Miranda, I had a couple of questions regarding why it took her so long to come home and she never called to tell me she'd be late. She explained that she missed her flight by accident and didn't have money to get a new one or make a phone call. She had to get some money quick, so she entered a marathon that had a $10,000 prize for first place. Apparently she won and, just before she was about to purchase a plane ticket, noticed she could get a hot air balloon ride for half the price. She opted for the balloon ride (totally understandable) and just got home.

Well, here's my issue: Miranda is flat-footed. How she won a marathon is beyond me. I've seen her run -- she looks like on an ostrich with hot coals strapped to her feet. Did Miranda lie? If so, what was she doing for the last few days?

One confused bugger,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: love, max, miranda, printer trouble

posted @ 5/08/2007 10:21:00 AM 0 comments

Hello, hello, hello InkIsIt fans! Nathan Bannigann here and all I can say today is: "Wow". My inbox has been absolutely inundated with submissions from people hoping to Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum. We've gotten rock ballads, murals, full-length DVDs with director commentary -- it's out of control! Max is going to be so cheered up. But keep those submissions coming. In fact, by popular demand, we're going to allow you a total of fifteen (15) submissions. That's right -- for those of you who have already submitted five (5), you now have ten (10) more opportunities to Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum. How come no one has submitted a Maxwell Bluum sculpture, diorama, or papier-mache? Get on it, folks, and send a picture of it to nathan@inkisit.com. Max is going to be so happy!

Until Monday,

Nathan Bannigann

Labels: cheer up, inkisit, love, max, miranda, nathan

posted @ 5/04/2007 10:48:00 AM 0 comments

Attention all InkIsIt enthusiasts! As many of you know, my friend Max has been down in the dump trucks since his lover Miranda didn't come back from her trip. Now, don't tell Max, but I thought it might be fun if we cheered him up. It's a little project I like to call: "Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum".

Here's what I want you InkIsIt fans to do: Send anything you want to me (nathan@inkisit.com) that you think will help cheer up Max. That's right -- it can be a picture, photo, poem, video, song, essay, whatever you want as long as it cheers up Max. And the best part is that we'll post some of the submissions that cheered up Max the most at InkIsIt.com. Sound good? Great! The deadline is this Sunday at 11:59pm and there's a limit of five (5) entries per person. So, to recap:

(1) Make a picture, photo, poem, video, song, essay, or whatever that you think will Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum.
(2) Send it to nathan@inkisit.com by 11:59pm, Sunday, May 6th, 2007. Limit five (5) entries per person.
(3) We'll post some of the submissions that cheered up Max the most at InkIsIt.com.
(4) Max is cheered up!

Alright, folks, send us your Cheer Up Maxwell Bluum submissions starting... now!

Hooray!,

Nathan

Labels: cheer up, inkisit, love, max, miranda, nathan

posted @ 5/02/2007 11:02:00 AM 1 comments

Hey, folks, it's InkIsIt internet sensation Maxwell Bluum with some great news. Ever since my lover Miranda left for her charity work, I no longer have an appetite! Nor do I need to sleep! Nor do I have money for rent! And I feel grrrrrrreat! Haha! Whoopee! I haven't been this happy since that time my printer stopped working.

Sobbingly,

Max

P.S. Miranda, if you're reading this, please come home!

Labels: africa, love, max, miranda, printer trouble, printers, printing

posted @ 4/27/2007 10:15:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, gang, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here and I've found myself in a confusing situation, even more confusing than the time I couldn't get my color printer to work. In hopes of doing something special for my wife Jennifer, I thought it would be fun to get married again. But first, I had to propose. So, on our anniversary, I took her out to a candlelit dinner at an affordable buffet, took out a ring, got down on one knee, and asked, "Mrs. Nathan Bannigann, will you marry me again?" She thought for a second, then replied: "No."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm just not ready."
And with that, my wife refused to marry me again. Now, we're already married, so basically I'm not really sure where I stand. She's not really talking to me either. Does anyone know what might be going on? Any advice is appreciated.

Befuddledly,

Nathan

Labels: jennifer, love, marriage, nathan, printer trouble, printing

posted @ 4/26/2007 10:16:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, folks, InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and it's been a whirlwind of a week. Last time I left you, my attractive lover Miranda was thinking of going to Africa for a week to distribute free ink cartridges and I wasn't sure whether I should let her go. After receiving hundreds of emails from people with advice -- some good, some bad, some good but about a different topic -- I decided to let her go. If our love is true, then it will surely withstand the test of time -- in this case, seven days. Unfortunately, just when I bid Miranda farewell, I saw her board the plane with a co-worker who looked just like me, only with bigger muscles and no moustache. It got me thinking: I'm screwed. I immediately returned to my condo and began eating chocolate and printing out of control. Before long, I had used all my rent money to buy more ink cartridges so I could print more. Now I have no idea how I'm going to make rent next week. Oh, dear me.

In a Real Pickle,

Max

Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda

posted @ 4/25/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments

InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum in a bit of a contemplative mood. This morning, my lover Miranda informed me of some disturbing news. Apparently she has volunteered for a program that distributes free ink cartridges to those who are unable to afford them. That's all well and good, but the program takes place in Africa and lasts an entire week. The worst part is: she's flying out tomorrow. You can imagine this has put me in a bit of a dilemma. On one hand, I'm glad she's doing some good work for those in need; on the other, I'm just not sure I can be without her for a week. Do I, Earth's Maxwell Bluum, put my personal needs aside and let her go? Or do I tell her I need her to stay or I'll most surely spend the entire week in a deep, deep sadness? Any advice?

Confusedly,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda

posted @ 4/23/2007 10:36:00 AM 1 comments

Maxwell Bluum of InkIsIt here. I know I said I was in love last time I checked in, but I was wrong. Now I'm IN LOVE!!!!! I couldn't have been in love before, because now I feel something completely different, something indescribable. Well, let me try to describe: you know what it feels like when you eat an ice cream sundae in a room full of pillows and kittens? Well, times that by a gazillion and divide by two. That's what I felt like when I first met Miranda. Now multiply by two. That's what I feel like NOW!

You'll never believe how perfect Miranda and I are for each other. She likes printing even more than I originally thought she did. And she hates how expensive printing is just like I do. Today she printed me out a special picture: a puppy wearing a raincoat! I love puppies! I didn't even tell her that. I did tell her I loved raincoats, though. But, still, 1 for 2 ain't bad. I wonder if she finds it difficult to keep herself from printing everything she wants to just like I do. I bet, yes! Well, I better go. I've been away from Miranda for a few minutes now and the pain is crippling. So long, gang.

Love is in the airducts,

Max

Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda

posted @ 4/13/2007 10:07:00 AM 2 comments

Put me in a basket and send me to heaven because InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is officially in LOVE. That's right, gang. Yesterday I ran out of ink while printing a photo of myself sobbing into my TV dinner, so I headed to the store to grab a new ink cartridge. As usual, I was rather saddened that the ink cartridges were all wildly expensive, but could not be more delighted when the sales clerk, the lovely and beautiful Miranda, asked me if I needed assistance. Once I saw her, my knees buckled, my head started spinning, and then I just swooned. When I came to, she was standing over me. The only words I could mutter were, "Will you like to share a plate of mozzarella sticks with me?" She said "yes" and, next thing you know, we were at dinner laughing and laughing and telling secrets and crying and laughing some more then ordering appetizers then laughing then ordering a main course then crying then laughing again. I wish that night never ended. Luckily, she gave me her phone number so I think we're gonna meet up again. Oh, the true Maxwell has finally emerged from his cocoon-like shell.

Blissfully,

Max

Labels: dating, expensive, love, max

posted @ 4/11/2007 10:47:00 AM 0 comments

It's no secret: InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is a lover with no one to love, a Romeo with no Juliet, a janitor with no mop. Now, usually I just sit in my condo and print away my sadness, but not today. Today, I'm going to do something about it. I'm sending out an S.O.S. to the entire single, attractive female community. If you too are a lover with no one to love, and you wouldn't mind loving a talk-show host with a moustache who's nuts about printing, and wouldn't mind one day living in a house with a garden and a white picket fence and a moat with a drawbridge, then let me know. Also, it would be a plus if you were a billionaire, so I could print whatever I want, whenever I want.

Ready to be loved,

Max

Labels: dating, expensive, love, max

posted @ 3/27/2007 12:25:00 PM 0 comments

Yesiree, folks! Maxwell Bluum is fifty years young today. That's 49 years older than InkIsIt. Sad to say I have no significant other to spend the day with, but that's okay. Why? I'll be spending the day with my imagination, and my printer. I've only been fifty for twenty minutes, and I've already printed out several things! Mostly pictures of me eating dinner in my empty hot tub, but something tells me this time next year that hot tub won't be empty. With some luck and hard work, it won't be long until it's overflowing with significant others!

The birthday boy,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: birthday, dating, love, max

posted @ 3/23/2007 10:23:00 AM 0 comments