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We're Nathan and
Max and boy do we love printing!
What we don't love is how much it costs. And that's why we started a talk show, "Ink Is It". It's a place to talk about our love of printing and share clever ways to get the most out of your printing dime. Hip-hip-hip-hooray! |
5/03/2007 10:04:00 AM
Max Bluum from critically recognized talk-show InkIsIt on this end, and I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. Has anyone seen a tall slender, blue-eyed woman that fits the following description and goes by the name of Miranda:
Tall, slender, female, big bountiful blue eyes, hair like an angel, skin the complexion of a leading lady, toes you couldn't imagine in your wildest dreams, arms so perfect you'll think god spent half the morning building them, a nose the size of a baby carrot (but the shape of a nose), a smile that makes your heart swell with befuddled delight, and lastly a torso you can set your watch to. She has all the other body parts, but they're pretty basic. I would've printed a picture of her and posted it around the neighborhood and country, but until the cost of printing drops I'm left with just the above description. Please, have it in your heart to drop what you're doing and start looking around. Thank you. Carefully, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, max, miranda posted @ 5/03/2007 10:04:00 AM 1 comments
5/01/2007 10:14:00 AM
Well, folks, I'm sorry if I don't seem like the typically chipper Maxwell Bluum today, but i'm in a bit of a gloom-funk right now. Just got back from the airport to pick up Miranda, and my worst fears came true: She never got off the plane. And neither did that guy that looked just like me, only way hunkier. You're probably wondering why I'm so calm about all this. I guess you could say I already released all of my aggression in the form of household chores. I scrubbed the floor, painted the ceilings, and installed a few, what I like to call, "air-vents" in my doors and walls. I also did a bit of printing. I don't even want to think of how much that's gonna cost me. But, it's hard to worry about money when your lover, best friend, soul mate and team mate is god-knows-where with you-know-who doing you-know-what till the cows-come-home. Anyways, if you can think of a way to cheer me up that won't cost any money cause I don't have any thanks to the high cost of printing, please let me know and quickly. If you wanna stop by, I just checked into Heartbreak Hotel. Sometimes metaphors just seem to say it best.
Color Me Very Sad, Max of InkIsIt Labels: expensive, max, miranda posted @ 5/01/2007 10:14:00 AM 0 comments
4/30/2007 03:30:00 PM
Hey, folks, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here. Last we spoke, my wife Jennifer had refused to marry me for the second time. I wasn't sure why, but I was able to narrow the list of potential reasons to the following possibilities:
(1) I didn't take out the garbage. (2) I forgot to walk our dog Derrick. (3) I backed the car into the TV room while she was watching her favorite program. (4) I dismantled her favorite grand piano and made a tree house with the wood by accident. Well, I finally confronted her about why she was mad and she revealed it wasn't any of those reasons. In fact, it was because I was spending too much time on printing and not enough time on her. Furthermore, all the printing was costing the family a lot of dough. So, folks, from now on Nathan Bannigann is going to be more sensible about his printing, at least until the printing industry introduces a more practical option. A lesson learned; a marriage saved. Until next time, Nathan Bannigann Labels: derrick, expensive, jennifer, marriage, nathan posted @ 4/30/2007 03:30:00 PM 0 comments
4/25/2007 10:28:00 AM
Hey, folks, InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and it's been a whirlwind of a week. Last time I left you, my attractive lover Miranda was thinking of going to Africa for a week to distribute free ink cartridges and I wasn't sure whether I should let her go. After receiving hundreds of emails from people with advice -- some good, some bad, some good but about a different topic -- I decided to let her go. If our love is true, then it will surely withstand the test of time -- in this case, seven days. Unfortunately, just when I bid Miranda farewell, I saw her board the plane with a co-worker who looked just like me, only with bigger muscles and no moustache. It got me thinking: I'm screwed. I immediately returned to my condo and began eating chocolate and printing out of control. Before long, I had used all my rent money to buy more ink cartridges so I could print more. Now I have no idea how I'm going to make rent next week. Oh, dear me. Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda posted @ 4/25/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments
4/24/2007 10:43:00 AM
Bad news, folks. My old college buddy, Lars, popped into town last night. And you know what that means: another printing binge. Afraid so. Yes, Nathan Bannigann may seem like a cool customer when he's behind the InkIsIt news desk, but when Lars gets his frying pan-sized mits on me, this sailor becomes as defenseless as a monster in a straight jacket that the monster can't get out of no matter how hard she tries. I couldn't even tell you how much we printed. All I know is I woke up covered in ink and my pants had mapquest directions to the nearest Best Buy printed on them. It's too bad printing's not less expensive, or I wouldn't have just filled a punch bowl with tears. Guess I'm having another one of those Tuesday Bluesdays.
Upside down smiling, Nath-O Bananaranigann Labels: expensive, lars, nathan posted @ 4/24/2007 10:43:00 AM 0 comments
4/23/2007 10:36:00 AM
InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum in a bit of a contemplative mood. This morning, my lover Miranda informed me of some disturbing news. Apparently she has volunteered for a program that distributes free ink cartridges to those who are unable to afford them. That's all well and good, but the program takes place in Africa and lasts an entire week. The worst part is: she's flying out tomorrow. You can imagine this has put me in a bit of a dilemma. On one hand, I'm glad she's doing some good work for those in need; on the other, I'm just not sure I can be without her for a week. Do I, Earth's Maxwell Bluum, put my personal needs aside and let her go? Or do I tell her I need her to stay or I'll most surely spend the entire week in a deep, deep sadness? Any advice?
Confusedly, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda posted @ 4/23/2007 10:36:00 AM 1 comments
4/19/2007 10:24:00 AM
That's right, folks: despite how I appear on InkIsIt, Maxwell Bluum isn't perfect. Last time I left you, I had written a poem for my lover Miranda. Oh, Miranda... the pudding in my pie, the magic in my magician, the milk in my dairy cow. Well, when Miranda read it, boy was she flattered. I could tell because the look on her face just seemed to say, "I am experiencing the emotion of flattery." That's all well and good, but I actually printed the poem for her 3,000 times and, if you do the mathematics, that works itself out to about to $150 buckaroos. This did not make Miranda happy. She cares about my financial well-being, knows how I get around printers, and encourages me to print responsibly so I have money to buy her unreasonably lavish gifts. In the end, it's because she cares.
Until next time, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, max, miranda, poem posted @ 4/19/2007 10:24:00 AM 0 comments
4/17/2007 10:45:00 AM
InkIsIt's Max here and the lead headline in my newspaper is "Miranda Beckinsworth Sweeps Maxwell Bluum Off His Feet". To show my love for my new hugging-partner extraordinaire, I wrote her this rhyming poem:
When I first met you, I knew I had fallen for you. Your body is a wonderland, And I really like wonderlands. I'm 110% positive you're the one for me. And I'm pretty sure you like me. Do you agree that it's a well-written poem? Anyways, I just printed it for her over and over again. I'll let you know what she thinks! Happy-happy printing, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, max, miranda, poem posted @ 4/17/2007 10:45:00 AM 0 comments
4/16/2007 01:15:00 PM
Please try to keep the noise down, folks -- uncle Nathan has a hangover... a printing hangover. To be honest, I'm really not sure how it happened. Let me think... yup, okay, I remember leaving the "InkIsIt" offices, then heading home to print a couple documents. On my way home, my ol' college buddy Lars called me saying he was in town on business and wanted to use my printer to print a presentation he was giving entitled "The Pillow Industry and Today: Kill or Be Killed". Naturally, I said, "No problem, Lars -- come on over", but next thing you know we're printing copy after copy and we can't stop. At one point, I even had to go buy another expensive ink cartridge so we could keep printing. Well, it comes as no surprise that I woke up this morning feeling awful, not to mention my wallet is empty and now I have to find a side job.
Goes to show, folks -- make sure to always print responsibly. Ugh, Nathan Labels: expensive, lars, nathan posted @ 4/16/2007 01:15:00 PM 0 comments
4/13/2007 10:07:00 AM
Maxwell Bluum of InkIsIt here. I know I said I was in love last time I checked in, but I was wrong. Now I'm IN LOVE!!!!! I couldn't have been in love before, because now I feel something completely different, something indescribable. Well, let me try to describe: you know what it feels like when you eat an ice cream sundae in a room full of pillows and kittens? Well, times that by a gazillion and divide by two. That's what I felt like when I first met Miranda. Now multiply by two. That's what I feel like NOW!
You'll never believe how perfect Miranda and I are for each other. She likes printing even more than I originally thought she did. And she hates how expensive printing is just like I do. Today she printed me out a special picture: a puppy wearing a raincoat! I love puppies! I didn't even tell her that. I did tell her I loved raincoats, though. But, still, 1 for 2 ain't bad. I wonder if she finds it difficult to keep herself from printing everything she wants to just like I do. I bet, yes! Well, I better go. I've been away from Miranda for a few minutes now and the pain is crippling. So long, gang. Love is in the airducts, Max Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda posted @ 4/13/2007 10:07:00 AM 2 comments
4/12/2007 10:26:00 AM
Afraid so, team. Today is Derek Bannigann's tenth birthday so I wanted to print him out something extra-special, but guess what? I ran out of ink halfway through, and I didn't have a spare 70 bucks, because I spent all my pocket loot on the birthday clown. Side note: Derek loves birthday clowns. So, now all I've got for a present for D-Dog is the top half of a Matt Damon picture. Side note: Derek loves Matt Damon. Guess I'm not winning any father of the year awards this year. It's too bad ink cartridges cost so darn much. Well, better get back to the party, looks like the clown needs another drink.
Forgive Me Derek, Nathan Bannigann of InkIsIt Labels: birthday, derek, expensive, nathan, printer posted @ 4/12/2007 10:26:00 AM 0 comments
4/11/2007 10:47:00 AM
Put me in a basket and send me to heaven because InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is officially in LOVE. That's right, gang. Yesterday I ran out of ink while printing a photo of myself sobbing into my TV dinner, so I headed to the store to grab a new ink cartridge. As usual, I was rather saddened that the ink cartridges were all wildly expensive, but could not be more delighted when the sales clerk, the lovely and beautiful Miranda, asked me if I needed assistance. Once I saw her, my knees buckled, my head started spinning, and then I just swooned. When I came to, she was standing over me. The only words I could mutter were, "Will you like to share a plate of mozzarella sticks with me?" She said "yes" and, next thing you know, we were at dinner laughing and laughing and telling secrets and crying and laughing some more then ordering appetizers then laughing then ordering a main course then crying then laughing again. I wish that night never ended. Luckily, she gave me her phone number so I think we're gonna meet up again. Oh, the true Maxwell has finally emerged from his cocoon-like shell.
Blissfully, Max Labels: dating, expensive, love, max posted @ 4/11/2007 10:47:00 AM 0 comments
4/10/2007 10:28:00 AM
Hey, gang. InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann the First here. Now, as we all know, printing is an expensive venture, so how do you decide whether or not you should print a document? Here's a little test I've developed that I hope will help you decide:
(1) Is the document more than one page? [If "yes", do not print it.] (2) Will printing the document save a human's life? [If "no", then don't print it.] (3) Will printing the document save a pet's life? [If "yes" and the pet is under the age of three, then print it. Otherwise, don't print it.] Hope that helps, folks. Happy printing, Nathan Bannigann posted @ 4/10/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments
4/06/2007 10:05:00 AM
Happy Easter, InkIsIt fans! Boy-oh-boysenberry, I can't believe it's finally here. This year I'm celebrating with a Bannigann family Easter hunt. Let me take you for the tour: about five in the morning, before I wake up, I have my child Derek hide Easter eggs around our lawn (our lawn is only 5' x 2', so he has to be creative). Then, around 7am, I climb out of bed, load my rifle, and the Easter Egg hunt begins. Then my whole family watches as I attempt to beat last year's Easter Egg Hunt record. My wife Jennifer mans the stopwatch while my son Derek gives me clues when necessary. If I break my previous year's record, then I get to print a picture of the Easter Bunny. If I don't break my record, then I get to print two pictures of the Easter Bunny (it's the only thing that'll cheer me up after failing to break my record).
Hop Hop Hop, Nathan Labels: easter, expensive, holidays, nathan posted @ 4/06/2007 10:05:00 AM 0 comments
4/04/2007 10:30:00 AM
Hey, gang. InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here with a teardrop-jerker. My son Derek came home from school upset because some of his classmates thought it'd be fun to glue his hands to the monkey bars. Not only did Derek have to hang from the bars until the fire department arrived, but, during that time, the monkey bars were pretty much off limits for the rest of the class. So, naturally, his classmates started ridiculing him and I believe the teachers got a couple shots in there as well (i.e. "Hey, Derek, hang in there! Haha!"). Pretty funny stuff actually. Anyways, to make Derek feel better, I'm letting him print a color photo of a unicorn despite how expensive it is. The problem is: the fire department simply detached the monkey bar, but Derek's hands are still glued to it, so he can't really grasp the picture.
Here's to the glue wearing off eventually. Happy printing, Nathan Labels: derek, expensive, monkey bars, nathan posted @ 4/04/2007 10:30:00 AM 0 comments
4/02/2007 10:04:00 AM
My oh my. InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann and Maxwell Bluum here and boy are we having a laugh. Everyone, please rest assured that yesterday's announcement was indeed an April Fools' prank like the world has never seen. We also learned a lesson: if you want to find out how much people care about you, tell them you're quitting then just soak up the compliments. Anyways, here's one last joke for all you humor consumers: Don't you just love how inexpensive it is to print things?
Just kidding!!! Joker Extraordinaires, Nathan & Max Labels: april fools', expensive, max, nathan posted @ 4/02/2007 10:04:00 AM 0 comments
3/30/2007 02:35:00 PM
Hey gang, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here. I hope you're ready to learn, because I've got a very exciting printing tip for you that might just make you wanna put on a swell hat and sing at the top of your lungs. Great! Okay, first thing you're gonna wanna do is put on a hat of your choosing and belt out one of your favorite tunes. At the same time, you're gonna have a trained photographer take a picture of you. I know what you're thinking: I can't afford to print that picture. Well, guess what? You don't have to, because you're gonna hire a sensibly priced novelist to write a brief description of that picture. Anytime you wanna show the picture to your friends and loved ones, just read them the brief description instead. Sure, it's not quite the same as being able to show them a big color picture, but if you find a novelist who'll do the job on the cheap, then you might be able to save a little dough.
Wow, Nathan Labels: expensive, nathan, printer tip posted @ 3/30/2007 02:35:00 PM 0 comments
3/28/2007 10:29:00 AM
InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann present and accounted for and I am just happy as a lamb today. Why? You know that saying, "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Well, I just tested it and boy is it true. You wouldn't believe the stuff my neighbors and gas station throw away. In fact, some of this stuff is so great I felt guilty taking it. Let's just say I'm sitting pretty right now with basically new socks, the bread part of a sandwich, and, best of all, some discarded photo printouts (don't have to tell you how much those are worth)! Now that I've run everything through the washing machine they're as good as new (little trick I picked up from my days as a hot dog vendor). Now, I'm hesitant to recommend that you root through any unlocked dumpsters unless, of course, you own a hazmat suit, as I've become sick as a sick dog. Basically I feel like I swallowed a hungry squirrel. Too bad nobody threw out any medicine! Ow, it hurts to laugh.
Bed-bound and lovin' it, Nathan Labels: expensive, nathan, trash posted @ 3/28/2007 10:29:00 AM 0 comments
3/27/2007 12:25:00 PM
It's no secret: InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is a lover with no one to love, a Romeo with no Juliet, a janitor with no mop. Now, usually I just sit in my condo and print away my sadness, but not today. Today, I'm going to do something about it. I'm sending out an S.O.S. to the entire single, attractive female community. If you too are a lover with no one to love, and you wouldn't mind loving a talk-show host with a moustache who's nuts about printing, and wouldn't mind one day living in a house with a garden and a white picket fence and a moat with a drawbridge, then let me know. Also, it would be a plus if you were a billionaire, so I could print whatever I want, whenever I want.
Ready to be loved, Max Labels: dating, expensive, love, max posted @ 3/27/2007 12:25:00 PM 0 comments
3/26/2007 10:41:00 AM
InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann at your service, gang, with a very funny joke about how expensive ink is. If you don't like irreverent humor, might wanna steer clear of this baby, because it's a bit of a wing-dinger, if you know what I mean:
So, a doctor, a pilot, and a lawyer are about to buy an ink cartridge from an office supply store and the cashier asks them, "Would you like to pay in gold bricks or expensive diamonds?" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to buy an ink cartridge not a HOSPITAL!!!!" Then the pilot replies, "I'm trying to buy an ink cartridge, not a brand new AIRPLANE!!!!" And the lawyer replies, "I'm trying to buy an ink cartridge not a JURY!!!!" LOL, Nathan Bannigann Labels: expensive, joke, nathan posted @ 3/26/2007 10:41:00 AM 0 comments
3/21/2007 11:32:00 AM
InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and boy am I excited! I was watching the tube today and saw these big-bodied bodybuilders showing off their hard muscles and winning steamboatloads of money. It got me thinking: if I tacked on some poundage, hit the bricks, then entered one of these showdowns, I might win enough money to finally print all I've ever wanted. I'm going to start today. Here's my diet...
Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, and weight gainer. Brunch: Chicken sandwich, weight gainer, sheet cake. Lunch: Just the sheet cake. Dinner: Dinner foods. And here's my daily workout... 10,000 Jumping Jacks Totally great! Stay tuned, gang. Maxwell Bluum is on his way to bigger muscles and an even bigger printing budget. Holy moly, Max Labels: bodybuilder, expensive, max posted @ 3/21/2007 11:32:00 AM 1 comments
3/19/2007 09:26:00 AM
Guess what, folks -- InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here and I just returned from a whirlwind trip to the Netherlands. For those of you not familiar with our clog-wearing friends, they are an amazingly kind people with very liberal laws. In fact, rumor is you can graduate from a Netherlands law school in six days. Anyways, the reason I went to the Netherlands was to find out what printing is like in Europe. Turns out it's pretty much the same, only you feel jetlagged. While I was there, I also learned that the United States of America and Netherlands share many customs including dancing, hand-shaking, and a disdain for cutting the cheese. And, yes, ink cartridges cost just as much over there as they do over here.
To all my new friends in the Netherlands, I just want to say "bedankt" for a wonderful time. Tot ziens, Nathan Labels: dutch, expensive, nathan, netherlands posted @ 3/19/2007 09:26:00 AM 0 comments
3/15/2007 09:58:00 AM
Okay, gang, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here with a bit of a red face. I have to apologize. Turns out my dog Derrick did not in fact run away. I found him this morning... in my closet. It didn't take long to remember that, on Monday, we were playing fetch and I threw the frisbee in there. Derrick went to retrieve it and then somebody must've shut the door behind him. I then got a phone call from a telemarketer who offered me a deal on a vacuum that, I had to agree, I couldn't pass up. Then I just flat out forgot about him. Boy am I embarrassed! Luckily, there was some canned vegetables in there that he managed to gnaw through (he must've been really hungry) so he was able to survive. He looks a little skinnier now, but that's good because he was a little overweight. Unfortunately, his coat has lost a bit of its luster, but you can't win them all.
Anyways, to make it up to him, I bought him a new outfit, took a picture of him, then splurged and printed the picture in color so he can put it on his dog house. Check it out:  Sorry, Derrick -- it will never happen again, I hope. Labels: expensive, family dog, nathan posted @ 3/15/2007 09:58:00 AM 0 comments
3/13/2007 10:29:00 AM
Well, InkIsIt fans, the inevitable happened: the Bannigann family dog, Derrick, has run away. Worst part is: I'm starting to think it's my fault. See, yesterday, I was testing how much air an airhorn actually holds -- the answer is twenty minutes worth -- and apparently Derrick got annoyed and dashed right out the door. Now, I like Derrick. He's a good dog. Instead of expensive dog food, he very willingly eats a steady diet of affordable jello. He only goes to the bathroom in the room we specifically designated for that activity (the living room) and he never climbs on the furniture, but to be honest, that's only because we don't have any. Still, good dog. Now, I want to plaster the neighborhood with color pictures of Derrick and see if anyone has seen him, but that is not going to be cheap. So, I've decided to just print a less expensive, black-and-white text description of Derrick and hope people have seen him. Here's the description:
LOST Typical looking dog Strong sense of smell, weak sense of humor Height: About oh-so-high So if anyone has seen Derrick, please drop me an email at nathan@inkisit.com. Many thanks, Nathan Labels: expensive, family dog, nathan posted @ 3/13/2007 10:29:00 AM 0 comments
3/12/2007 11:00:00 AM
Good afternoon ladies, germs, children, and miscellaneous! Ink Is It's Maxwell Bluum here with a tip on the quick that'll stuff a couple extra printing dollars in your rear-end pocket: if you're in between jobs, or just happen to have a few weeks of days on your hands, why not take a paid vacation to the exotic land of paid medical research? Not only will you get compensated handsomely with limited risk, but you'll also save the lives of a few lab rats along the way. I've done this once before and I made 200 big ones and it only cost me two weeks of my time and the use of my toes. Lucky for me, you don't need toes to know that I made out like a bandit!
To find out more about paid medical research, visit your local hospital or just ask a homeless person! Thank me later, Max Labels: expensive, max, medical research posted @ 3/12/2007 11:00:00 AM 3 comments
3/08/2007 11:29:00 AM
Hey, gang! Ink Is It's Maxwell Bluum here. Now if there's one goal I've had since I was a child, it was to one day hold a World Record. Growing up, the first record I wanted to hold was to be the world's fastest man, but I couldn't do that because I lived too far from the track and, even when I did get to the track, running made me unbearably sweaty. The next record I wanted to hold was World's Tallest Man, but I came up short despite a valiant effort. And now I have my eye on a new world record: largest printed picture of a dolphin. That's why, last week, I went to the zoo and took a picture of a dolphin and, using some technological trickery, blew it up to a size of 20,000 square feet. Due to budgetary restrictions, I can only print my picture at a rate of one 8.5 x 11" page per day, but when it's done, people will say, "You're Maxwell Bluum? The same guy who holds a World Record?" and I'll humbly reply, "At least that's what the billboard in my front yard says."
Your Printing Friend, Max Labels: expensive, max, world record posted @ 3/08/2007 11:29:00 AM 1 comments
3/07/2007 10:29:00 AM
Ink Is It's Nathan Bannigann at your service. I'm not gonna lie, gang -- I had a bit of a rough one yesterday. It started off as any old Tuesday, but came to a screeching halt when a truck flew into my lane from out of nowhere and I slammed on the brakes. Luckily, I didn't hit the truck, but I did hit the car in between the truck and my car. Don't worry, folks, Nathan Bannigann's okay, but unfortunately I can't say the same for my car or the spine of the other driver. Needless to say, I don't have the funds to be printing for quite some time. Normally, when I can't afford to print I whine and complain and et cetera, but not this time. This time I decided I was gonna do something about it: I was gonna finally figure out why ink cartridges cost so much, then I was gonna whine and complain. I knew that if I was gonna get to the bottom of this, then it was time to do some hard-nosed research like I used to do in my college days. And who could possibly be more up to the task than our unpaid intern, Shelly? Why, our other unpaid intern, Dan, of course. After a few tedious hours of research, I finally tracked down Dan's home number, gave him a call and left a message. A few minutes later he returned my call with some jaw-dropping information, which can best be summed up with the following sentence: Dan no longer works for us. So, I gave Shelly a call and put her to work. You're not gonna believe what Shelly dug up: Did you know that inside every ink cartridge there's a computer chip that tells the printer when the ink cartridge is running low on ink?!? I didn't immediately understand the significance of this until Shelly explained to me that it's possible to put that technology inside the printer. That way you only pay for it once instead of every time you buy an ink cartridge. No wonder ink cartridges cost an arm and a leg's worth of money.
You'll be happy to hear that I immediately put Shelly on the payroll. Unfortunately, I was forced to take Shelly off the payroll when our producer, Erin, informed me that a pay increase for Shelly meant a pay cut for me. Lucky for me, it's the thought that counts. Way to go Shelly, Nathan Labels: expensive, ink cartridge trouble, nathan posted @ 3/07/2007 10:29:00 AM 1 comments
3/06/2007 11:10:00 AM
"Ink Is It's" very own Maxwell Bluum here with a tale of misadventure. This morning I came across a famous painting by Edward Hopper called "Nighthawks" that I absolutely adore and just had to print. Wanting to print the picture, but not wanting to spend the money, I decided to just draw it myself. And guess what? You can barely tell the difference. Here is the original version:
 And here is my rendition:  Which painting is the real one? Nobody knows! Your printing friend, Max Labels: expensive, max, painting posted @ 3/06/2007 11:10:00 AM 1 comments
2/28/2007 10:16:00 AM
Hey, folks, guess what? Ink cartridges are a fortune. That's why I'm here to give you a tip on how to get more greenbacks so you can print more. Here's what you're gonna want to do: become rich. With all that cash, you can print as much as you want. Now how do you get rich? Simple. Whatever job you're at, be the first one to show up to work. Then, when your boss asks you for your ideas, provide ones that are brilliant and increase the net worth of the company tenfold. The next step is to get promoted until you're eventually the CEO. It's just that easy, folks.
Your Ink Is It friend, Nathan posted @ 2/28/2007 10:16:00 AM 0 comments
2/27/2007 10:45:00 AM
Ink Is It's Maxwell Bluum here with a very special announcement to anyone reading this. As you read these words I, Maxwell Bluum, am on my first day of a weeklong bet I just made with Nathan. Nathan bet me that I couldn't go an entire week's worth of time without printing a single document. If I win, Nathan pays me, what we're estimating I'll save by not printing for a week: $1,200. But, if I don't win, then I pay Nathan $10,000. I don't remember why I have to pay him more, but it made sense when we made the bet.
Wish me luck, Max posted @ 2/27/2007 10:45:00 AM 0 comments
2/26/2007 11:48:00 AM
Holy smokestacks! Ink Is It's Nathan Bannigann here waking up with a post-Academy Awards hangover. What a night -- the comedy routines were such a bright spot! My only complaint is that the ceremony was a bit too short. If you ask me, it would've helped if it dragged on a bit longer, particularly in regards to the acceptance speeches. These people get paid millions of dollars to make movies that make us laugh, cry, and confused. The least we can do is let them give a lengthy (five minute range) rant on their inspirations and who had to make sacrifices to get them where they are today. It's like when I print more than my family can afford -- my wife and daughter have to suffer and I thank them every night for it, unless I'm busy or I've printed way too much to show my face.
Anyways, to all those celebrities out there who didn't get to thank as many people as they would've liked in front of a national audience, you are in my heart. Until next time, Nathan Labels: expensive, nathan, oscars posted @ 2/26/2007 11:48:00 AM 0 comments
2/22/2007 10:28:00 AM
Man oh man, gang. Maxwell Bluum here and boy did I have a wet mop of a day. This morning, I ran out of magenta ink and didn't have the Benjamins to buy a new ink cartridge. Here's where things get hairy. My mother calls today and asks me to take a picture of her pet bird, Honorable Henry, and print it in color. And what color is Honorable Henry? Magenta. Not wanting to disappoint Mother Bluum, I tried to make some makeshift magenta ink out of blueberries and butterfly wings -- needless to say, it didn't go well. I took two steps out the door before my butterfly net got caught on a nail and ripped right in half (Hint: If you're gonna buy a butterfly net, avoid the Insect Seducer 2560.) My next idea was to actually extract the pigment from Honorable Henry's wings and somehow siphon it into the ink cartridge. Problem was, I approached Honorable Henry ready to pluck a couple extraneous feathers and he gave me this look like, "Not today, bucko."
In the end, Mother Bluum was stuck with a black and white picture of Honorable Henry. Why couldn't she befriend a crow? Pretty sad over here, Your Ink Is It Co-host Max Labels: expensive, ink cartridge trouble, max, pets posted @ 2/22/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments
2/19/2007 08:54:00 AM
Hello, gang! Nathan Bannigann here wishing you a very happy President's Day. I celebrated this President's Day the way I always do: by printing a picture of my favorite president, James Polk (1795-1849). Well known as the "Least Known President", Polk served in office from 1845-1849, though many historians still debate over whether or not he was actually a president. Polk is highly regarded for his success in the Mexican-American War and his failed attempts to instigate many other wars. He was the first president to retire after his first term and not seek re-election, a decision many chalk up to his innate ability to not push his luck. Unfortunately, he died three months after his term ended. Word is that his funeral, though short in duration, was well-attended. (But what do you expect? He might have been president.)
James Polk, it was worth the extra buck to print you in color! Happy Holiday, Nathan  Labels: expensive, holidays, nathan posted @ 2/19/2007 08:54:00 AM 0 comments |
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