Put me in a basket and send me to heaven because InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is officially in LOVE. That's right, gang. Yesterday I ran out of ink while printing a photo of myself sobbing into my TV dinner, so I headed to the store to grab a new ink cartridge. As usual, I was rather saddened that the ink cartridges were all wildly expensive, but could not be more delighted when the sales clerk, the lovely and beautiful Miranda, asked me if I needed assistance. Once I saw her, my knees buckled, my head started spinning, and then I just swooned. When I came to, she was standing over me. The only words I could mutter were, "Will you like to share a plate of mozzarella sticks with me?" She said "yes" and, next thing you know, we were at dinner laughing and laughing and telling secrets and crying and laughing some more then ordering appetizers then laughing then ordering a main course then crying then laughing again. I wish that night never ended. Luckily, she gave me her phone number so I think we're gonna meet up again. Oh, the true Maxwell has finally emerged from his cocoon-like shell.

Blissfully,

Max

Labels: dating, expensive, love, max

posted @ 4/11/2007 10:47:00 AM 0 comments

Hiya, gang. Maxwell Bluumbergingtonfield here from InkIsIt. Just kidding, it's just regular old Maxwell Bluum. So, I just tried this new thing where I don't print for a day. I did that yesterday, and if my calculations are correct I saved enough money to treat a special lady to a special date. Normally, I go halvesies with my dates because I print so darn much, but if I keep up this no printing thing, I think I'll be able to treat the whole deal, and still have enough left over to pay for her cab ride home. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm never gonna keep this no printing thing up.

Still broke,

Max

Labels: dating, max, printer

posted @ 4/03/2007 10:27:00 AM 0 comments

It's no secret: InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is a lover with no one to love, a Romeo with no Juliet, a janitor with no mop. Now, usually I just sit in my condo and print away my sadness, but not today. Today, I'm going to do something about it. I'm sending out an S.O.S. to the entire single, attractive female community. If you too are a lover with no one to love, and you wouldn't mind loving a talk-show host with a moustache who's nuts about printing, and wouldn't mind one day living in a house with a garden and a white picket fence and a moat with a drawbridge, then let me know. Also, it would be a plus if you were a billionaire, so I could print whatever I want, whenever I want.

Ready to be loved,

Max

Labels: dating, expensive, love, max

posted @ 3/27/2007 12:25:00 PM 0 comments

Yesiree, folks! Maxwell Bluum is fifty years young today. That's 49 years older than InkIsIt. Sad to say I have no significant other to spend the day with, but that's okay. Why? I'll be spending the day with my imagination, and my printer. I've only been fifty for twenty minutes, and I've already printed out several things! Mostly pictures of me eating dinner in my empty hot tub, but something tells me this time next year that hot tub won't be empty. With some luck and hard work, it won't be long until it's overflowing with significant others!

The birthday boy,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: birthday, dating, love, max

posted @ 3/23/2007 10:23:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, everyone, Maxwell Bluum here! Guess what, folks? It was a lonely Valentine's Day so I've just reentered the ol' dating scene. Unfortunately, I've stumbled out of the blocks, some might say. Last night, I took out a woman named Francis McDonald-McDouglas who I met paying a toll on the freeway. Per a suggestion in "Serious Daters Weekly", we rented a romantic comedy feature film and snuggled up with a garbage bag's worth of cheddar popcorn. To my delight, Francis was able to eat the whole bag herself! To commemorate the moment, I took a picture of Francis holding the empty bag and printed it for her. Unfortunately, my printer smudged the picture, making Francis appear like something you might see in a horror film starring a monster. Needless to say, she was not pleased and stormed out my condo, taking some cash I had lying around with her. It was one of those moments where you wish your printer functioned consistently and you had a bank account.

So, my printer has set me back once again. If there's anyone out there who shares my love of printing, loves popcorn, and is not bothered by the sight of misshaped toes, feel free to email me at max@inkist.com.

Your friend (and more?),

Maxwell

Labels: dating, max, printer trouble

posted @ 2/16/2007 11:17:00 AM 0 comments