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We're Nathan and
Max and boy do we love printing!
What we don't love is how much it costs. And that's why we started a talk show, "Ink Is It". It's a place to talk about our love of printing and share clever ways to get the most out of your printing dime. Hip-hip-hip-hooray! |
4/30/2007 03:30:00 PM
Hey, folks, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here. Last we spoke, my wife Jennifer had refused to marry me for the second time. I wasn't sure why, but I was able to narrow the list of potential reasons to the following possibilities:
(1) I didn't take out the garbage. (2) I forgot to walk our dog Derrick. (3) I backed the car into the TV room while she was watching her favorite program. (4) I dismantled her favorite grand piano and made a tree house with the wood by accident. Well, I finally confronted her about why she was mad and she revealed it wasn't any of those reasons. In fact, it was because I was spending too much time on printing and not enough time on her. Furthermore, all the printing was costing the family a lot of dough. So, folks, from now on Nathan Bannigann is going to be more sensible about his printing, at least until the printing industry introduces a more practical option. A lesson learned; a marriage saved. Until next time, Nathan Bannigann Labels: derrick, expensive, jennifer, marriage, nathan posted @ 4/30/2007 03:30:00 PM 0 comments
4/27/2007 10:15:00 AM
Hey, folks, it's InkIsIt internet sensation Maxwell Bluum with some great news. Ever since my lover Miranda left for her charity work, I no longer have an appetite! Nor do I need to sleep! Nor do I have money for rent! And I feel grrrrrrreat! Haha! Whoopee! I haven't been this happy since that time my printer stopped working.
Sobbingly, Max P.S. Miranda, if you're reading this, please come home! Labels: africa, love, max, miranda, printer trouble, printers, printing posted @ 4/27/2007 10:15:00 AM 0 comments
4/26/2007 10:16:00 AM
Hey, gang, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here and I've found myself in a confusing situation, even more confusing than the time I couldn't get my color printer to work. In hopes of doing something special for my wife Jennifer, I thought it would be fun to get married again. But first, I had to propose. So, on our anniversary, I took her out to a candlelit dinner at an affordable buffet, took out a ring, got down on one knee, and asked, "Mrs. Nathan Bannigann, will you marry me again?" She thought for a second, then replied: "No."
"Excuse me?" "I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm just not ready." And with that, my wife refused to marry me again. Now, we're already married, so basically I'm not really sure where I stand. She's not really talking to me either. Does anyone know what might be going on? Any advice is appreciated. Befuddledly, Nathan Labels: jennifer, love, marriage, nathan, printer trouble, printing posted @ 4/26/2007 10:16:00 AM 0 comments
4/25/2007 10:28:00 AM
Hey, folks, InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and it's been a whirlwind of a week. Last time I left you, my attractive lover Miranda was thinking of going to Africa for a week to distribute free ink cartridges and I wasn't sure whether I should let her go. After receiving hundreds of emails from people with advice -- some good, some bad, some good but about a different topic -- I decided to let her go. If our love is true, then it will surely withstand the test of time -- in this case, seven days. Unfortunately, just when I bid Miranda farewell, I saw her board the plane with a co-worker who looked just like me, only with bigger muscles and no moustache. It got me thinking: I'm screwed. I immediately returned to my condo and began eating chocolate and printing out of control. Before long, I had used all my rent money to buy more ink cartridges so I could print more. Now I have no idea how I'm going to make rent next week. Oh, dear me. Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda posted @ 4/25/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments
4/24/2007 10:43:00 AM
Bad news, folks. My old college buddy, Lars, popped into town last night. And you know what that means: another printing binge. Afraid so. Yes, Nathan Bannigann may seem like a cool customer when he's behind the InkIsIt news desk, but when Lars gets his frying pan-sized mits on me, this sailor becomes as defenseless as a monster in a straight jacket that the monster can't get out of no matter how hard she tries. I couldn't even tell you how much we printed. All I know is I woke up covered in ink and my pants had mapquest directions to the nearest Best Buy printed on them. It's too bad printing's not less expensive, or I wouldn't have just filled a punch bowl with tears. Guess I'm having another one of those Tuesday Bluesdays.
Upside down smiling, Nath-O Bananaranigann Labels: expensive, lars, nathan posted @ 4/24/2007 10:43:00 AM 0 comments
4/23/2007 10:36:00 AM
InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum in a bit of a contemplative mood. This morning, my lover Miranda informed me of some disturbing news. Apparently she has volunteered for a program that distributes free ink cartridges to those who are unable to afford them. That's all well and good, but the program takes place in Africa and lasts an entire week. The worst part is: she's flying out tomorrow. You can imagine this has put me in a bit of a dilemma. On one hand, I'm glad she's doing some good work for those in need; on the other, I'm just not sure I can be without her for a week. Do I, Earth's Maxwell Bluum, put my personal needs aside and let her go? Or do I tell her I need her to stay or I'll most surely spend the entire week in a deep, deep sadness? Any advice?
Confusedly, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda posted @ 4/23/2007 10:36:00 AM 1 comments
4/20/2007 11:14:00 AM
What do Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll, and InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann have in common? We're all mad scientists who, at one point or another, were on top of our game. My shining moment was last night when I saved money by refilling my ink cartridge with discount chocolate syrup. Sure, I wasn't able to print with it, but it was a stupendous effort and I only spilled a bottle or two of chocolate syrup on my floor. Problem was: my dog Derrick started licking up all the syrup and I couldn't stop him. Now he's just acting crazy. I'd take him to the vet but I can't get him to stop jumping.
Oh well, Nathan Bannigann Labels: family dog, ink cartridge trouble, nathan posted @ 4/20/2007 11:14:00 AM 1 comments
4/19/2007 10:24:00 AM
That's right, folks: despite how I appear on InkIsIt, Maxwell Bluum isn't perfect. Last time I left you, I had written a poem for my lover Miranda. Oh, Miranda... the pudding in my pie, the magic in my magician, the milk in my dairy cow. Well, when Miranda read it, boy was she flattered. I could tell because the look on her face just seemed to say, "I am experiencing the emotion of flattery." That's all well and good, but I actually printed the poem for her 3,000 times and, if you do the mathematics, that works itself out to about to $150 buckaroos. This did not make Miranda happy. She cares about my financial well-being, knows how I get around printers, and encourages me to print responsibly so I have money to buy her unreasonably lavish gifts. In the end, it's because she cares.
Until next time, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, max, miranda, poem posted @ 4/19/2007 10:24:00 AM 0 comments
4/18/2007 11:06:00 AM
Folks, excuse me if I'm a little freaked out, but InkIsIt's very own Nathan Bannigann had the nightmare of all nightmares last night. All I remember is: I was trying to print a picture of a tennis ball, but my printer kept erroring, or it would only print half the picture, or it would print a picture of a 25' tall, butter-knife wielding monster. When I woke up, I tried to use my real printer, but it wouldn't work. Now I know what you're thinking: Nathan Bannigann doesn't get mad; he gets even. That's not true. I do get mad and I keep things uneven. So, I'm pretty much helpless against these lousy printers.
Ugh, Nathan Bannigann Labels: nathan, nightmare, printer, printer trouble posted @ 4/18/2007 11:06:00 AM 0 comments
4/17/2007 10:45:00 AM
InkIsIt's Max here and the lead headline in my newspaper is "Miranda Beckinsworth Sweeps Maxwell Bluum Off His Feet". To show my love for my new hugging-partner extraordinaire, I wrote her this rhyming poem:
When I first met you, I knew I had fallen for you. Your body is a wonderland, And I really like wonderlands. I'm 110% positive you're the one for me. And I'm pretty sure you like me. Do you agree that it's a well-written poem? Anyways, I just printed it for her over and over again. I'll let you know what she thinks! Happy-happy printing, Maxwell Bluum Labels: expensive, max, miranda, poem posted @ 4/17/2007 10:45:00 AM 0 comments
4/16/2007 01:15:00 PM
Please try to keep the noise down, folks -- uncle Nathan has a hangover... a printing hangover. To be honest, I'm really not sure how it happened. Let me think... yup, okay, I remember leaving the "InkIsIt" offices, then heading home to print a couple documents. On my way home, my ol' college buddy Lars called me saying he was in town on business and wanted to use my printer to print a presentation he was giving entitled "The Pillow Industry and Today: Kill or Be Killed". Naturally, I said, "No problem, Lars -- come on over", but next thing you know we're printing copy after copy and we can't stop. At one point, I even had to go buy another expensive ink cartridge so we could keep printing. Well, it comes as no surprise that I woke up this morning feeling awful, not to mention my wallet is empty and now I have to find a side job.
Goes to show, folks -- make sure to always print responsibly. Ugh, Nathan Labels: expensive, lars, nathan posted @ 4/16/2007 01:15:00 PM 0 comments
4/13/2007 10:07:00 AM
Maxwell Bluum of InkIsIt here. I know I said I was in love last time I checked in, but I was wrong. Now I'm IN LOVE!!!!! I couldn't have been in love before, because now I feel something completely different, something indescribable. Well, let me try to describe: you know what it feels like when you eat an ice cream sundae in a room full of pillows and kittens? Well, times that by a gazillion and divide by two. That's what I felt like when I first met Miranda. Now multiply by two. That's what I feel like NOW!
You'll never believe how perfect Miranda and I are for each other. She likes printing even more than I originally thought she did. And she hates how expensive printing is just like I do. Today she printed me out a special picture: a puppy wearing a raincoat! I love puppies! I didn't even tell her that. I did tell her I loved raincoats, though. But, still, 1 for 2 ain't bad. I wonder if she finds it difficult to keep herself from printing everything she wants to just like I do. I bet, yes! Well, I better go. I've been away from Miranda for a few minutes now and the pain is crippling. So long, gang. Love is in the airducts, Max Labels: expensive, love, max, miranda posted @ 4/13/2007 10:07:00 AM 2 comments
4/12/2007 10:26:00 AM
Afraid so, team. Today is Derek Bannigann's tenth birthday so I wanted to print him out something extra-special, but guess what? I ran out of ink halfway through, and I didn't have a spare 70 bucks, because I spent all my pocket loot on the birthday clown. Side note: Derek loves birthday clowns. So, now all I've got for a present for D-Dog is the top half of a Matt Damon picture. Side note: Derek loves Matt Damon. Guess I'm not winning any father of the year awards this year. It's too bad ink cartridges cost so darn much. Well, better get back to the party, looks like the clown needs another drink.
Forgive Me Derek, Nathan Bannigann of InkIsIt Labels: birthday, derek, expensive, nathan, printer posted @ 4/12/2007 10:26:00 AM 0 comments
4/11/2007 10:47:00 AM
Put me in a basket and send me to heaven because InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is officially in LOVE. That's right, gang. Yesterday I ran out of ink while printing a photo of myself sobbing into my TV dinner, so I headed to the store to grab a new ink cartridge. As usual, I was rather saddened that the ink cartridges were all wildly expensive, but could not be more delighted when the sales clerk, the lovely and beautiful Miranda, asked me if I needed assistance. Once I saw her, my knees buckled, my head started spinning, and then I just swooned. When I came to, she was standing over me. The only words I could mutter were, "Will you like to share a plate of mozzarella sticks with me?" She said "yes" and, next thing you know, we were at dinner laughing and laughing and telling secrets and crying and laughing some more then ordering appetizers then laughing then ordering a main course then crying then laughing again. I wish that night never ended. Luckily, she gave me her phone number so I think we're gonna meet up again. Oh, the true Maxwell has finally emerged from his cocoon-like shell.
Blissfully, Max Labels: dating, expensive, love, max posted @ 4/11/2007 10:47:00 AM 0 comments
4/10/2007 10:28:00 AM
Hey, gang. InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann the First here. Now, as we all know, printing is an expensive venture, so how do you decide whether or not you should print a document? Here's a little test I've developed that I hope will help you decide:
(1) Is the document more than one page? [If "yes", do not print it.] (2) Will printing the document save a human's life? [If "no", then don't print it.] (3) Will printing the document save a pet's life? [If "yes" and the pet is under the age of three, then print it. Otherwise, don't print it.] Hope that helps, folks. Happy printing, Nathan Bannigann posted @ 4/10/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments
4/09/2007 10:35:00 AM
Maxwell Bluum here from InkIsIt, just getting back from the zoo. I swear those monkeys get smarter every week I visit. Today, the adult monkey was dancing. And there's just something about seeing an adult monkey dance that makes me wanna print. But, usually on zoo day, I try not to print, because visiting the zoo ain't cheap, and printing, well, don't get me started about the cost of printing. But, the second I got back from the zoo, yup, you guessed it, I'm printing more pictures of monkeys than there is space to hang them. After printing my fifth document, luckily I got distracted by a blue jay that flew into my condo, but I just know the second that blue jay leaves I'm gonna be printing again. Uh-oh, better go, a squirrel just scurried in through my back door, and I don't think he likes the blue jay. If this keeps up I may never have to go the zoo again!
Zoologist-in-Training, Maxwell Bluum posted @ 4/09/2007 10:35:00 AM 1 comments
4/06/2007 10:05:00 AM
Happy Easter, InkIsIt fans! Boy-oh-boysenberry, I can't believe it's finally here. This year I'm celebrating with a Bannigann family Easter hunt. Let me take you for the tour: about five in the morning, before I wake up, I have my child Derek hide Easter eggs around our lawn (our lawn is only 5' x 2', so he has to be creative). Then, around 7am, I climb out of bed, load my rifle, and the Easter Egg hunt begins. Then my whole family watches as I attempt to beat last year's Easter Egg Hunt record. My wife Jennifer mans the stopwatch while my son Derek gives me clues when necessary. If I break my previous year's record, then I get to print a picture of the Easter Bunny. If I don't break my record, then I get to print two pictures of the Easter Bunny (it's the only thing that'll cheer me up after failing to break my record).
Hop Hop Hop, Nathan Labels: easter, expensive, holidays, nathan posted @ 4/06/2007 10:05:00 AM 0 comments
4/05/2007 10:34:00 AM
Wo-ho-ho, folks. "InkIsIt" celebrity host Maxwell Bluum here and I just conducted what scientists like to call a "scientific experiment". I set out to find which was quicker: printing a color photo of a beautiful elephant or cooking a personal pizza. After five minutes of printing/cooking, here is a picture of each:
Labels: elephant, max, pizza, slow printer posted @ 4/05/2007 10:34:00 AM 0 comments
4/04/2007 10:30:00 AM
Hey, gang. InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here with a teardrop-jerker. My son Derek came home from school upset because some of his classmates thought it'd be fun to glue his hands to the monkey bars. Not only did Derek have to hang from the bars until the fire department arrived, but, during that time, the monkey bars were pretty much off limits for the rest of the class. So, naturally, his classmates started ridiculing him and I believe the teachers got a couple shots in there as well (i.e. "Hey, Derek, hang in there! Haha!"). Pretty funny stuff actually. Anyways, to make Derek feel better, I'm letting him print a color photo of a unicorn despite how expensive it is. The problem is: the fire department simply detached the monkey bar, but Derek's hands are still glued to it, so he can't really grasp the picture.
Here's to the glue wearing off eventually. Happy printing, Nathan Labels: derek, expensive, monkey bars, nathan posted @ 4/04/2007 10:30:00 AM 0 comments
4/03/2007 10:27:00 AM
Hiya, gang. Maxwell Bluumbergingtonfield here from InkIsIt. Just kidding, it's just regular old Maxwell Bluum. So, I just tried this new thing where I don't print for a day. I did that yesterday, and if my calculations are correct I saved enough money to treat a special lady to a special date. Normally, I go halvesies with my dates because I print so darn much, but if I keep up this no printing thing, I think I'll be able to treat the whole deal, and still have enough left over to pay for her cab ride home. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm never gonna keep this no printing thing up.
Still broke, Max posted @ 4/03/2007 10:27:00 AM 0 comments
4/02/2007 10:04:00 AM
My oh my. InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann and Maxwell Bluum here and boy are we having a laugh. Everyone, please rest assured that yesterday's announcement was indeed an April Fools' prank like the world has never seen. We also learned a lesson: if you want to find out how much people care about you, tell them you're quitting then just soak up the compliments. Anyways, here's one last joke for all you humor consumers: Don't you just love how inexpensive it is to print things?
Just kidding!!! Joker Extraordinaires, Nathan & Max Labels: april fools', expensive, max, nathan posted @ 4/02/2007 10:04:00 AM 0 comments
4/01/2007 09:04:00 AM
We turned our printers off. We recycled our ink. We turned the "Ink Is It" set into a storage closet for our scrapbooks. We even painted the cyan walls in our basement a new shade of putty. Thanks for the memories.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye. Cuckoo... Labels: ink blaster, printer, printers posted @ 4/01/2007 09:04:00 AM 1 comments |
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