Hey gang, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here. I hope you're ready to learn, because I've got a very exciting printing tip for you that might just make you wanna put on a swell hat and sing at the top of your lungs. Great! Okay, first thing you're gonna wanna do is put on a hat of your choosing and belt out one of your favorite tunes. At the same time, you're gonna have a trained photographer take a picture of you. I know what you're thinking: I can't afford to print that picture. Well, guess what? You don't have to, because you're gonna hire a sensibly priced novelist to write a brief description of that picture. Anytime you wanna show the picture to your friends and loved ones, just read them the brief description instead. Sure, it's not quite the same as being able to show them a big color picture, but if you find a novelist who'll do the job on the cheap, then you might be able to save a little dough.

Wow,

Nathan

Labels: expensive, nathan, printer tip

posted @ 3/30/2007 02:35:00 PM 0 comments

InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and I just got back from Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada. That is one helluva city and heck if they're not "Ink Is It" fans. I don't want to say I'm a celebrity there, but let's just say I didn't have to pay for extra butter at the popcorn stand. To all you folks in Burnaby, thank you for sharing your wonderful city with me!

Keep it on the page,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: canada, max, trip

posted @ 3/29/2007 03:11:00 PM 4 comments

InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann present and accounted for and I am just happy as a lamb today. Why? You know that saying, "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Well, I just tested it and boy is it true. You wouldn't believe the stuff my neighbors and gas station throw away. In fact, some of this stuff is so great I felt guilty taking it. Let's just say I'm sitting pretty right now with basically new socks, the bread part of a sandwich, and, best of all, some discarded photo printouts (don't have to tell you how much those are worth)! Now that I've run everything through the washing machine they're as good as new (little trick I picked up from my days as a hot dog vendor). Now, I'm hesitant to recommend that you root through any unlocked dumpsters unless, of course, you own a hazmat suit, as I've become sick as a sick dog. Basically I feel like I swallowed a hungry squirrel. Too bad nobody threw out any medicine! Ow, it hurts to laugh.

Bed-bound and lovin' it,

Nathan

Labels: expensive, nathan, trash

posted @ 3/28/2007 10:29:00 AM 0 comments

It's no secret: InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum is a lover with no one to love, a Romeo with no Juliet, a janitor with no mop. Now, usually I just sit in my condo and print away my sadness, but not today. Today, I'm going to do something about it. I'm sending out an S.O.S. to the entire single, attractive female community. If you too are a lover with no one to love, and you wouldn't mind loving a talk-show host with a moustache who's nuts about printing, and wouldn't mind one day living in a house with a garden and a white picket fence and a moat with a drawbridge, then let me know. Also, it would be a plus if you were a billionaire, so I could print whatever I want, whenever I want.

Ready to be loved,

Max

Labels: dating, expensive, love, max

posted @ 3/27/2007 12:25:00 PM 0 comments

InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann at your service, gang, with a very funny joke about how expensive ink is. If you don't like irreverent humor, might wanna steer clear of this baby, because it's a bit of a wing-dinger, if you know what I mean:

So, a doctor, a pilot, and a lawyer are about to buy an ink cartridge from an office supply store and the cashier asks them, "Would you like to pay in gold bricks or expensive diamonds?" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to buy an ink cartridge not a HOSPITAL!!!!" Then the pilot replies, "I'm trying to buy an ink cartridge, not a brand new AIRPLANE!!!!" And the lawyer replies, "I'm trying to buy an ink cartridge not a JURY!!!!"

LOL,

Nathan Bannigann

Labels: expensive, joke, nathan

posted @ 3/26/2007 10:41:00 AM 0 comments

Yesiree, folks! Maxwell Bluum is fifty years young today. That's 49 years older than InkIsIt. Sad to say I have no significant other to spend the day with, but that's okay. Why? I'll be spending the day with my imagination, and my printer. I've only been fifty for twenty minutes, and I've already printed out several things! Mostly pictures of me eating dinner in my empty hot tub, but something tells me this time next year that hot tub won't be empty. With some luck and hard work, it won't be long until it's overflowing with significant others!

The birthday boy,

Maxwell Bluum

Labels: birthday, dating, love, max

posted @ 3/23/2007 10:23:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, InkIsIt fans! Looking for a fun free-time-passer? Well, look no further than the official InkIsIt YouTube page. For those of you who haven't heard of YouTube, it's basically an internet website where regular people become instant pop icons free of charge. If you don't want to become the topic of every watercooler conversation, then definitely don't put yourself on YouTube.

Truly yours,

Nathan Bannigann

Labels: nathan, youtube

posted @ 3/22/2007 10:18:00 AM 0 comments

InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here and boy am I excited! I was watching the tube today and saw these big-bodied bodybuilders showing off their hard muscles and winning steamboatloads of money. It got me thinking: if I tacked on some poundage, hit the bricks, then entered one of these showdowns, I might win enough money to finally print all I've ever wanted. I'm going to start today. Here's my diet...

Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, and weight gainer.
Brunch: Chicken sandwich, weight gainer, sheet cake.
Lunch: Just the sheet cake.
Dinner: Dinner foods.

And here's my daily workout...
10,000 Jumping Jacks

Totally great! Stay tuned, gang. Maxwell Bluum is on his way to bigger muscles and an even bigger printing budget.

Holy moly,

Max

Labels: bodybuilder, expensive, max

posted @ 3/21/2007 11:32:00 AM 1 comments

Labels: episode, max, nathan, printer tip, video

posted @ 3/20/2007 10:27:00 AM 1 comments

Guess what, folks -- InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here and I just returned from a whirlwind trip to the Netherlands. For those of you not familiar with our clog-wearing friends, they are an amazingly kind people with very liberal laws. In fact, rumor is you can graduate from a Netherlands law school in six days. Anyways, the reason I went to the Netherlands was to find out what printing is like in Europe. Turns out it's pretty much the same, only you feel jetlagged. While I was there, I also learned that the United States of America and Netherlands share many customs including dancing, hand-shaking, and a disdain for cutting the cheese. And, yes, ink cartridges cost just as much over there as they do over here.

To all my new friends in the Netherlands, I just want to say "bedankt" for a wonderful time.

Tot ziens,

Nathan

Labels: dutch, expensive, nathan, netherlands

posted @ 3/19/2007 09:26:00 AM 0 comments

Okey-dokey, gang, St. Patrick's Day is here and you know what that means: time for InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum to print all things green. This morning I printed this picture and put it on my wall:











Pretty cool, huh? Well, it's nothing compared to this:

















I look like a blue alien dipped in green paint! Problem is: I just used all my cyan and yellow ink -- sometimes you just wish those suckers could hold enough ink to get you through St. Patrick's Day.

Talk to you all soon,

Max

Labels: holidays, ink cartridge trouble, max

posted @ 3/16/2007 09:45:00 AM 0 comments

Okay, gang, InkIsIt's Nathan Bannigann here with a bit of a red face. I have to apologize. Turns out my dog Derrick did not in fact run away. I found him this morning... in my closet. It didn't take long to remember that, on Monday, we were playing fetch and I threw the frisbee in there. Derrick went to retrieve it and then somebody must've shut the door behind him. I then got a phone call from a telemarketer who offered me a deal on a vacuum that, I had to agree, I couldn't pass up. Then I just flat out forgot about him. Boy am I embarrassed! Luckily, there was some canned vegetables in there that he managed to gnaw through (he must've been really hungry) so he was able to survive. He looks a little skinnier now, but that's good because he was a little overweight. Unfortunately, his coat has lost a bit of its luster, but you can't win them all.

Anyways, to make it up to him, I bought him a new outfit, took a picture of him, then splurged and printed the picture in color so he can put it on his dog house. Check it out:

Sorry, Derrick -- it will never happen again, I hope.

Pensively,

Nathan

Labels: expensive, family dog, nathan

posted @ 3/15/2007 09:58:00 AM 0 comments

Okay, take it easy, gang. InkIsIt's Maxwell Bluum here reminding you that we all make mistakes. A story: a few months back, Nathan showed me a picture of a chair and I thought it was a leopard. They both have four legs and a back -- it's an honest mistake. Now, I was just taking in the internet and came across this poor man who made a similar ding-dong move and everyone just wants to point and laugh.



Don't act like you've never gotten those two mixed up before, gang. Jeez louise.

Until Next Time,

Max

Labels: max, qvc

posted @ 3/14/2007 10:08:00 AM 1 comments

Well, InkIsIt fans, the inevitable happened: the Bannigann family dog, Derrick, has run away. Worst part is: I'm starting to think it's my fault. See, yesterday, I was testing how much air an airhorn actually holds -- the answer is twenty minutes worth -- and apparently Derrick got annoyed and dashed right out the door. Now, I like Derrick. He's a good dog. Instead of expensive dog food, he very willingly eats a steady diet of affordable jello. He only goes to the bathroom in the room we specifically designated for that activity (the living room) and he never climbs on the furniture, but to be honest, that's only because we don't have any. Still, good dog. Now, I want to plaster the neighborhood with color pictures of Derrick and see if anyone has seen him, but that is not going to be cheap. So, I've decided to just print a less expensive, black-and-white text description of Derrick and hope people have seen him. Here's the description:

LOST
Typical looking dog
Strong sense of smell, weak sense of humor
Height: About oh-so-high

So if anyone has seen Derrick, please drop me an email at nathan@inkisit.com.

Many thanks,

Nathan

Labels: expensive, family dog, nathan

posted @ 3/13/2007 10:29:00 AM 0 comments

Good afternoon ladies, germs, children, and miscellaneous! Ink Is It's Maxwell Bluum here with a tip on the quick that'll stuff a couple extra printing dollars in your rear-end pocket: if you're in between jobs, or just happen to have a few weeks of days on your hands, why not take a paid vacation to the exotic land of paid medical research? Not only will you get compensated handsomely with limited risk, but you'll also save the lives of a few lab rats along the way. I've done this once before and I made 200 big ones and it only cost me two weeks of my time and the use of my toes. Lucky for me, you don't need toes to know that I made out like a bandit!

To find out more about paid medical research, visit your local hospital or just ask a homeless person!

Thank me later,

Max

Labels: expensive, max, medical research

posted @ 3/12/2007 11:00:00 AM 3 comments

Ink Is It's Nathan Bannigann here, folks. Need something to do while waiting for your color photo to print? Do what I do and design your very own spaceship. I've been working on one for the past few months. Here's what I have so far:

Labels: nathan, slow printer, spaceship

posted @ 3/09/2007 10:55:00 AM 0 comments

Hey, gang! Ink Is It's Maxwell Bluum here. Now if there's one goal I've had since I was a child, it was to one day hold a World Record. Growing up, the first record I wanted to hold was to be the world's fastest man, but I couldn't do that because I lived too far from the track and, even when I did get to the track, running made me unbearably sweaty. The next record I wanted to hold was World's Tallest Man, but I came up short despite a valiant effort. And now I have my eye on a new world record: largest printed picture of a dolphin. That's why, last week, I went to the zoo and took a picture of a dolphin and, using some technological trickery, blew it up to a size of 20,000 square feet. Due to budgetary restrictions, I can only print my picture at a rate of one 8.5 x 11" page per day, but when it's done, people will say, "You're Maxwell Bluum? The same guy who holds a World Record?" and I'll humbly reply, "At least that's what the billboard in my front yard says."

Your Printing Friend,

Max

Labels: expensive, max, world record

posted @ 3/08/2007 11:29:00 AM 1 comments

Ink Is It's Nathan Bannigann at your service. I'm not gonna lie, gang -- I had a bit of a rough one yesterday. It started off as any old Tuesday, but came to a screeching halt when a truck flew into my lane from out of nowhere and I slammed on the brakes. Luckily, I didn't hit the truck, but I did hit the car in between the truck and my car. Don't worry, folks, Nathan Bannigann's okay, but unfortunately I can't say the same for my car or the spine of the other driver. Needless to say, I don't have the funds to be printing for quite some time. Normally, when I can't afford to print I whine and complain and et cetera, but not this time. This time I decided I was gonna do something about it: I was gonna finally figure out why ink cartridges cost so much, then I was gonna whine and complain. I knew that if I was gonna get to the bottom of this, then it was time to do some hard-nosed research like I used to do in my college days. And who could possibly be more up to the task than our unpaid intern, Shelly? Why, our other unpaid intern, Dan, of course. After a few tedious hours of research, I finally tracked down Dan's home number, gave him a call and left a message. A few minutes later he returned my call with some jaw-dropping information, which can best be summed up with the following sentence: Dan no longer works for us. So, I gave Shelly a call and put her to work. You're not gonna believe what Shelly dug up: Did you know that inside every ink cartridge there's a computer chip that tells the printer when the ink cartridge is running low on ink?!? I didn't immediately understand the significance of this until Shelly explained to me that it's possible to put that technology inside the printer. That way you only pay for it once instead of every time you buy an ink cartridge. No wonder ink cartridges cost an arm and a leg's worth of money.

You'll be happy to hear that I immediately put Shelly on the payroll. Unfortunately, I was forced to take Shelly off the payroll when our producer, Erin, informed me that a pay increase for Shelly meant a pay cut for me. Lucky for me, it's the thought that counts.

Way to go Shelly,

Nathan

Labels: expensive, ink cartridge trouble, nathan

posted @ 3/07/2007 10:29:00 AM 1 comments

"Ink Is It's" very own Maxwell Bluum here with a tale of misadventure. This morning I came across a famous painting by Edward Hopper called "Nighthawks" that I absolutely adore and just had to print. Wanting to print the picture, but not wanting to spend the money, I decided to just draw it myself. And guess what? You can barely tell the difference. Here is the original version:

Labels: expensive, max, painting

posted @ 3/06/2007 11:10:00 AM 1 comments

Whoa-ho-ho, folks! If you're looking for the most humane way to milk a squid, then look no further than episode 4 of "Ink Is It". Boy is it a dandy!

Yours in printing,

Nathan

Labels: episode, nathan, squid

posted @ 3/05/2007 10:19:00 AM 2 comments

Hey gang, get ready for a new video next week. We're working over the weekend to deliver you the best episode of Ink Is It yet. In the meantime, we couldn't help but share a photo of the cute friends we printed last night.

Labels: cute, max, printer, video

posted @ 3/02/2007 07:09:00 PM 1 comments

Ohhh, wow! I've never had so much fun! What am I doing you ask? I'm playing our dangerously fun and free Ink Blaster Game! To play for yourself, click here or on the link to the left. Warning: only play if you're okay with having an unreasonable amount of fun.

Until next time,

Nathan

Labels: ink blaster, nathan

posted @ 3/02/2007 10:35:00 AM 0 comments

It's your friend, Max from Ink Is It, with some pretty bad news. It's only been three days and I already lost the bet I made with Nathan that I couldn't go one whole week without printing. To be honest, I didn't even make it until day three. It was day two and I was trying to distract myself from printing by writing a poem. Then, next thing I knew, I had written a masterpiece, and I couldn't bear not to print it and frame it. So, on the bright side, chances are I'll make well over the $10,000 I owe Nathan when I sell the poem. My guess is, I'll make enough money to at least buy a few ink cartridges. Anyway, without further adieu, here's the poem:

So what if I can't print, I can still write a poem,
One about sharks, and robots, and wizards named Doem,
It's also about a pole, yes a Totem.
Thank you, oh thank you, for reading my poem.

Thank you for reading my poem, everyone.

Max

P.S. I'll let you know when it hits bookshelves, but probably not for at least a few months.

Labels: bet, max

posted @ 3/01/2007 10:28:00 AM 0 comments